I've Got Your Shiny Sink Right Here!

There's an evil, insidious movement out there that I feel I should warn you all about. It's called flylady.com and is designed to make you feel inferior for your nasty, untidy ways. You know, those worthless urges you have to spend time bonding with your spouse and children rather than cleaning something. Honestly, it's right after Martha Stewart's own black, sticky heart.

The basic premise is you should keep your kitchen sink shiny, and that bastion of loveliness will guilt you into keeping everything else around it clean. You're supposed to ask yourself throughout the day, "Is my sink shining?" Sort of like the Chinese had to ask themselves, "Where the !@#$# is my red book?" during the cultural revolution. Of course the Chinese could be punished by death for any infraction. Flylady merely implies that you will suffer intense mocking and jeering by your peers and/or close relations.

I urge you to go immediately to your kitchen, lick a spoon, and leave it in your sink overnight. You could follow my stellar example and leave most of your pots and pans from dinner so they can "soak". And by soak, I mean sit there until someone else gets disgusted and does them for you. Fight the power my friends. It's a slippery slope, and before you know it, you're making festive fall place settings from an old shoe and some compost. Organic from your own garden, of course.