Rise and Shine!

The scene: Dawn breaks. I lie burrowed under the covers happily oblivious to the world. The pitter patter of little feet coming down the hall rouses me to a groggy dream state where I think I've possibly forgotten a math test, but can't quite get my eyes open enough to worry about it. A knee to my kidney brings me fully awake, and a tiny mouth is pressed to my ear. It whispers, "It's not dark mommy."

I beg to differ. I don't care when dawn technically is, unless the clock reads 7 a.m. it is DARK!! I give in, and grab my oldest monkey for a quick snuggle. The monkey pulls away and points to his stomach. "I hun-ry mommy. I need-a eat. Wet's go to da kitchen."

Me (now standing groggily in kitchen): Jack, what do you want to eat for breakfast?
Jack: No, Mommy! No!
Me: What? I just asked what you want for breakfast!
Jack: No, Mommy! I not wanna eat it!
Me: Aren't you hungry?
Jack: Uh-huh. I hun-ry.
Me: Do you want a cereal bar?
Jack: Nope. No cereal bar.
Me: Do you want some Captain Crunch?
Jack: Nope. No Crunchy Munch.
Me: How about a banana?
Jack: Nope. No 'nana. I wanna wook up deah (indicating cabinet)
Me (lifting Jack to look in cabinet): What do you want in here?
Jack: I want dat! (repeat several times pointing at canned green beans/tomatoes/spinach, etc. and more often than not -- gummy treats)
Me: No. That's not breakfast food. What do you want for breakfast?
Jack: Dat! (indicating the previously rejected cereal bar)
Me: Fine. Sit down and I'll open it for you.
Jack: (screaming, writhing and throwing my back into spasms) NO!! I don' wanna sit down! No, Mommy! No!!
Me: You have to sit down or you can't eat your cereal bar.
Jack: I don' wike it ceweal bar. I want Crunchy Munch.
Me: Fine. Sit down and I'll pour you a bowl.
Jack: (screaming, writhing and throwing my back into spasms. Picking up a pattern?) NO!! I don' wanna sit down! No, Mommy! No!!
Me: You have to sit down or you can't eat your Crunchy Munch.
Jack: I don' wike it Crunchy Munch. I want 'nana.

I'll spare you the rest of the details, but the result is almost always a screaming, running, stomping, throwing-himself-down tantrum that results in waking the trips from their slumber well before 7 a.m.

I'll tell you a secret...sometimes he gets gummies.