Parlez vous...Wait! Don't tell me!

I'm learning to speak French! This doesn't technically count as a New Year's resolution as I've been working on it in fits and starts for the last few months. I had a few years in High school followed by a couple of remedial college courses. And now, more than a decade later, I can tell you that haricot verts are indeed safe to order as a side dish (that'sgreen beans in case you were wondering).

Why the sudden interest in becoming bi-lingual? Well, why not? It's good for your head -- I read somewhere that people who speak more than one language are a lot less likely to develop Alzheimer's (Ignore the fact that I can't remember exactly where I read that or how much less likely their risk was. Google it yourself, haters!). And maybe it will be good for my heart, too. French is the language of love, is it not?

So that's my latest undertaking. I did what I always do when I come up with a new project -- I went out and bought a book. Several books, in fact -- one of which has mostly curse words and slang. I figure when I'm feeling iffy on my French vocabulary, I'll throw in one of those words or phrases and immediately shift my audience from thinking, "Is she an idiot?" to "Ooh, she's just too cool to care." Well, that's the plan at least.

I'd appreciate any tips from anyone else who's tried this self-education stuff. Oh, how I wish I'd paid more attention to poor Ms. Lloyd when I had the chance back in High School French class. Instead I just made fun of her misguided affection for stirrup pants. If I could write a letter to me then...I'd probably forget to mention French or anything else besides, "Enjoy that flat stomach, b!@#$*! It won't last long!!"