Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Upon closer examination of the Christmas card photo (see below), I was struck by how very much my boys needed another haircut. They've already had their "First Professional Haircut" with bits of fuzz saved in an envelope for posterity. But I think three wiggling, screeching, crying boys descending on one unsuspecting hairdresser was a bit much for the poor woman to handle. They all left looking pretty much the same as when they went in. Maybe a little shorter, but not necessarily ready for their GQ cover shoot.

They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing expecting an different result. With that in mind, I decided that I would give Sam and Will haircuts myself this time. Going to a pro didn't work out that well for us. Why shell out cash if Will's just going to wind up looking like Moe from the Three Stooges anyway? How hard could it be?

The whole process began in the bathtub where I relieved Will of the majority of his mullet. Unfortunately, the scissors I found in the bathroom cabinet were a bit too dull for haircutting. They kind of folded into his hair rather than cutting it. And since speed is of the essence with any task involving Will, I decided to cease and desist for the moment.

Once everyone was dressed and had fairly dry hair, I decided to try again with a pair of much sharper scissors. I tackled Sam first this time, since he really only needed his bangs trimmed. After a quick clip across his brow, it began to dawn on me that simply having witnessed a haircut might not actually qualify me as a hairdresser. Sam had taken on a certain Frankenstein-esque look. Very square across the brow, dropping abruptly past the ears to a much longer back. No wonder there are so many mullets in the world. I had just given my son one without even trying!

I remembered that most of the time the hairdressers pick up the hair in sections, lift it away from the head and do a tiny snip to layer the ends a bit and make them look less boxy. So I gave this a try a few times. But he just wouldn't stop MOVING! Or trying to help with the scissors, which almost resulted in the loss of a fingertip and part of an ear. Luckily, no blood was shed, and I decided as long as I brushed his bangs a little to the side, he looked just fine.

I moved on to Will, but without as much enthusiasm as before. This time, Tessa held him in her lap while I trimmed his bangs. He sat as still as a statue, completely mesmerized by the hair falling across his nose and cheeks. He remained frozen until I finished the front and over the ears. Then he had to turn around and face Tessa, so I could try and fix the back -- slightly mangled by the dull scissors from before. I tried to even it up quickly. But instead of looking down at his lap, which would have been immensely helpful, Will kept bending backward to smile at me upside down. Granted, it was really cute, but not at all conducive to a decent haircut. I tried to do the lifting up sections and snipping them thing, but with so much bending and twisting, the result was iffy at best.

Finally, I stepped back, determined that he looked better than when we started, and decided to leave well enough alone. Fortunately for Tommy, he doesn't have any hair to trim, and Jack has so much hair that I'm completely afraid to touch it, so both those fellows were left out of this particular endeavor.

All in all, I don't regret the experience. I think they still look cute, and I managed to avoid a chaotic trip to the hair salon. Although, I'm not sure I'll be able to do it again, just because I'm already so far out of my comfort zone. Next time, I may leave their hair in the hands of professionals. Until then, cross your fingers that the mullet makes a comeback, because I seem to have a knack.