"'And the Grinch realized that Christmas wasn't about the presents after all. It was about something special that happens in our hearts at Christmas time.' The End." Realizing a good segue to discuss the true meaning of Christmas, I turned to my first-born and asked, "Jack, do you know what happens to your heart at Christmas?"
I was met with a puzzled stare, so I adjusted my tack on the fly, "Jack do you know where Jesus lives?"
Jack perked up. I could tell he was ready to knock this one out of the park. "Up in da sky and in my heart (pressing his hand to the general vicinity of his heart)." God bless those Baptists. What they can do in only three mornings a week is amazing. "An' Jesus lives in your heart?"
"Yes," I said, smugly patting myself on the back for not raising a heathen despite not being far from one myself. "He's in my heart."
"An' he's in daddy's heart upstairs?" Jack asked. "I think he up in da kitchen but I can't see him."
"Wherever he is," I replied, "I'm sure Jesus is with him, too,." Silently, I added ..."unless he's watching Cinemax, then I hope Jesus is otherwise occupied."
"Where your heart?" queried Jack.
"Right here," I said, pointing to my chest, "and there's your heart." I pointed in the general vicinity of Jack's left side.
Horrified, Jack exploded, "Jesus is in my belly?!?"
"Well...no," I sputtered. "Not exac...."
"I not wanna eat Jesus!!" Jack shouted.
"No you don't eat Je...," I broke off as another thought hit me. Surely I don't have to try to explain communion, too!
Jack continued his diatribe, "Cause dat would be yucky to eat Jesus!"
Realizing I had no exit strategy, I reached for the only weapon in my dwindling arsenal. "Let's sing!" I chirped loudly. "How about the name song? Jack, Jack, Bo Back, Banana Fanna...."
Someone up there took pity on me as we sang through every name I knew, and there was no return to the topic of eating our Lord and Savior. Maybe it's better that I leave religion up to the Baptists at Mother's Day Out. Should they accidentally stumble onto the topic of cannibalism, I bet they know how to get out gracefully.
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2 comments:
It surprises me how accepting children are of this "Jesus in my heart" business. I wonder what is actually going through their heads. They must be thinking that Jesus is really small.
Your friend (and fellow "close to heathen") from Broken Arrow, Ok here. I loved this post, as always I read you blog with a huge smile on my face!!! Just wanted to let you know Georgia was pretending to talk on her cell phone the other day, and I overheard her say "...hello, baby Jesus, it that you? How you doing?" And for that, I thank the Methodist!
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