Now there's a title that grabs attention if I ever made up one. The two do actually stem from a common theme, believe it or not. For the past week, I've been on strike. I've only scrubbed the toilets that actually had a ring. I've only dust mopped when the dog-hair-balls were literally starting to make me feel sick. And the closest I've come to cooking was defrosting frozen chicken fingers in the microwave.
What have I been doing instead, you ask (and for the sake of argument let's pretend you did)? RESEARCH!! Or at least that's what I'm going to call it. It has come to my attention that romance novel writers can actually make a living writing about love, romance, and (you knew it was just around the corner) LARGE MEMBERS!! So I have dedicated myself to reading a string of novels written very much in the style of Jane Austen -- only with some red-hot love scenes thrown in to appeal to those of us in the 21st century. This particular author's pen name is Julia Quinn, and she's a Harvard Graduate with feminist leanings. It almost makes the whole idea of becoming a romance novelist seem academic -- except for that whole "his throbbing manhood" issue.
Herein lies the problem. I just don't think I'm capable of writing the naughty bits. I blush while I'm reading them, and honestly cannot imagine how much worse it would be to actually write them myself, put my name on the cover and have to tell my mother, "Here's your baby girl's life's work." But the idea of being a published author is appealing. And a published author with a decent paycheck not only ices that cake but throws in a side of ice cream to boot. Still...telling my mother would be like serving it up on a bed of compost.
Oh well, it's all moot anyway. The blank screen facing me before each blog is daunting enough for right now. How on earth are you supposed to keep going for 300 pages? I'm going to have to start doing more interesting things just so I'll have stuff to talk about. For right now, all you have to look forward to are 1st birthday parties and our first school picture day -- both of which are happening next week. I'm really excited about it, and can't wait to share details once it's all over. I guess someone else will have to handle the naughty bits for at least a little while longer. I think I'll stay G-rated for the time being. It's less embarrassing for me AND my mother.
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2 comments:
I'm up to page 324...and unless you count "zero-inflated poisson regression" as something naughty (which, in fact, i do) I can't help you. teehee...see you at your party soon!
You could always write under a pen name and your mother would never have to know. Funny, I think about the same things...maybe not writing, but that I could never be an actor b/c my parents would have issue with some scene in the movies! It's hard to be held back by your parents...HA-HA!!!
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