Just Your Average Wednesday

I was recently asked to describe a typical day in our not-so-typical life. I responded with the usual -- what time we get up, the triplets' feeding schedule, Jack's school routine, etc. But at the end of day yesterday, I realized that what I described wasn't typical at all. Instead, I had described a day where nothing interesting happened, and those are few and far between. Let's recap Wednesday, shall we?

We fed the trips at 4 and no one wanted to go back to sleep. By 7 o'clock, they were hungry again, and we started feeding them, feeling as if it were just a continuation of the early morning meal. Just before eight, the nanny called in to say I-65 was closed, and due to the bad weather she wasn't sure she was comfortable trying to make it in via back roads. I agreed and told her to just stay home. Eight o'clock passed and Jack was still sleeping. Taking the weather and the fact that he still seemed to feel crummy from his recent respiratory infection into consideration, I decide to let him miss school once again. He woke just before 9, and we still had not been able to get all three trips down at once. Linda and I call it baby bingo when we lay one down and pick another one up. Now Jack was added to the mix, and Linda opted to work with him while I juggled triplets until the next feeding. Somehow, I got them all bathed and we made it through one more feeding and Jack's lunch (after which, he was promplty put down to nap), then it was time for the afternoon nanny (Josie) to show up.

Linda and I greeted her in our pajamas, having had no opportunity to bathe or change ourselves. Linda pointed out that she bravely sacrificed her shower window to wash bottles. I agreed that she made the right choice, and we pressed on through the afternoon. Josie started helping with the trips' next feeding when it became apparent, that after an hour of talking, singing and generally not sleeping, Jack was ready to get up from his so-called nap. She headed downstairs and Linda and I resumed our vigil. We realized that we had gone the entire day with a baby in our arms.

The afternoon passed with more of the same and night fell. Jack had his dinner and was ready for some mommy time. He was fussy and tired and wanted to be picked up and carried like the babies. As I was still a little sore from the gall bladder escapade, I had to tell him no, and his world crumbled. Finally, he managed to stop whining and mustered a coherent request. "Bath? Watee?" I hesitated. At a quarter after six, the nanny was gone and Jason was almost home. The trips' were having a rare moment of quiet, and my arms were actually empty. But the wise thing to do was wait until we had a third soldier in the fray before taking on this task. I looked at those beautiful blue eyes, still brimming with unshed tears, and decided "What could it hurt?" And so the die was cast.

I got Jack settled in the bath, gave him a quick scrub and washed his hair. I was looking forward to letting him play for the next few minutes until his daddy arrived. Then I heard them. Sam and Tom began their battle cries, and Linda called "When was the last time we fed them?" Unbelieveable!! Somehow the time had slipped my mind, and now I was needed in two places at once. Linda could handle feeding two at once, but she couldn't go to the kitchen to make the bottles. I couldn't leave Jack unattended in the bath, so we were in a quandary. I ran to the bedroom, and helped Linda quickly arrange Sam and Will (who was now awake and screaming as well) in a position that allowed her to see into the master bath where Jack was bathing. I quickly donned my Baby Bjorn, slid Tom into the straps, then raced to the kitchen to make bottles. I realized we didn't have enough formula, and quickly began to mix more. About this time, Jason came in from the garage, took one look at me, and burst out laughing. I had to smile too, and conscripted him into counting formula scoops while I stirred, so we wouldn't have to spend extra time squishing out lumps. We were midway through when the phone rang. It was the pediatrician whom I called three hours previously in a fit of desperation. We began conversing about possible solutions to the problem of non-stop fussiness, crying and eating. I left the formula in Jason's capable hands. About this time, I glanced down the hall to see Linda framed in the bedroom door shouting something I couldn't quite make out. She then bolted back toward the master bath. Jason dropped the spoon and sprinted after her. I briefly lost my train of thought, but decided they could handle whatever crisis without me, and finished discussing thickened formula and Zantac with Dr. Hamm.

After I hung up with him, I realized I had no clue if the formula was finished or if I still needed to add more powder, and so I wandered into the bedroom to ask Jason. The carnage was obvious...Linda was on her hands and knees scrubbing the bathtub while muttering unintelligibly under her breath. Jason stood looking stern yet faintly nauseated while intoning as menacingly as possible, "This is not funny, young man. This is very bad." There was a certain scent in the air, was it...poop?! Jack stood naked, unaffected by Jason's lecturing, pointing at his reflection in the mirror. "Jack!" he shouted, and laughed out loud. The triplets wailed hopefully for their bottles.

You can guess the rest. The tub was sterilized. Jack was re-bathed and put to bed. And in the aftermath, we analyzed the incident. Apparently, a boyish love of farting in the bathtub -- something his daddy swears he strongly discouraged -- resulted in the inevitable. We grimaced and shivered. We decided we didn't want the chinese food Jason brought home for dinner. Instead we all washed our hands several more times, and finished off the chocolate cake. We fed the trips once more, although we had to slice the nipples to make the thickened formula go through. We may have been overzealous, as the boys came close to funneling their bottles. But the task was finished, and we all went to bed to recharge and prepare for the next "typical" day at the Burrus Zoo.