Variation On A Theme

I know you all must think our life revolves around poop, but with four un-potty-trained butts in the house, it does make up a large portion of our lives. Last night was no exception. At 1 AM, Jason and I were just beginning our feeding routine. I had changed Sam's diaper and settled down on the sofa to give him his bottle. All seemed well until a desperate cry rang out from the next room, "Oh!! Oh no! OH GOD!!!"

"What is it? What's wrong?" I shouted as a I raced to Jason's side. He stood motionless, hands poised near but not touching a wiggling Tom as he lay on the changing table. In the darkened room, I was at a loss to discern what had happened. Finally, Jason was able to choke out,
"Tom just did...Ugh!" The unmistakable odor hit me.
"...it went all over" (waving his arm toward the baby bed three feet to his right)
"...I can't even find" (wild gestures toward the wipes box covered in unmentionable gore)
...It's everywhere!"

I recognized the beginnings of shock, and wondered if I should make Jason lie down and try to keep warm. But that would make him unavailable for clean up detail, so I dubbed him 4F and advanced to the next order of business. Of course, the only other wipes were upstairs. So I ditched Sam in the bouncy seat (thank God he's the laid back one), and raced to retrieve them. Upon my return, I turned up the lights so we could see the full extent of the devastation. Casualties included the diaper changing table, the changing pad, the wipes container, the diaper genie on the floor below, the baby bed, the bumper pads, the crib sheets, the wall and possibly the carpet. It's a really great berber that doesn't show stains easily, so who knows. We gave it a quick rub down and moved on. Thankfully, my husband is the greatest, so we were laughing about it before we'd even managed to get the whole mess cleaned up. We were just so relieved that Will and Jack stayed asleep during the entire fiasco, that we were practically giddy. Jason re-wiped everything with a Clorox wipe so we could at least feel we'd done our parental duty, and we resumed normal activity.

If anyone would be interested in joining us at the Burrus Zoo, we're thinking of selling tourist packages to those who are bold in both body and spirit. Just like with any safari into the wilds, we can't guarantee what you'll see once you get here. But the odds are in your favor for one whale of an adventure.