Thursday, February 20, 2014

Well...that explains it

July 13, 2009
Me (placing the last toy in the donation bag): Wow, Jack! I’m really proud of you. You’ve made a lot of sacrifices here. There’s hardly anything left in the toy box.
Jack (beaming): Thanks, mom! Tom’s going to be so happy when he sees how clean his toy box is!

Here's One I Didn't See Coming

From July 12, 2009
“Mom?” Jack calls.
“What, babe?”
“Do you think Sam would like to sleep in my room so we could talk to each udder and tell stories?”
“Well…”
Not waiting for a response, he continues, “I could tell him stories about dinosaurs and he could tell me ones about dragons.”
“Does Sam like dragons?” I ask, trying not to smile too big.
“Well he likes Dragon Tales,” he shrugs. “Could we have a sleepover, Mom? Please!?!”
I know that Sam defecting from his shared room with Tom and Will to the spare bed in Jack’s room is going to cause no end of strife, so I give the standard mom answer, “We’ll see.” That’s mom-speak for “Jeeeeez! — I’m really hoping you forget about this before I actually have to do anything about it.”
2 Hours Later:
“Okay, boys! Bedtime! Let’s help clean up then go get in your beds!” I clap my hands and begin singing the Barney clean up song (Love it or hate it…that stuff really works!) and when the scurrying is done, I realize that Will and Tom are headed for their beds but Sam is hanging back in the playroom with Jack. I roll my eyes and go to take my medicine.
“Mom, Sam wants to sleep in my room tonight,” Jack assures me, assuming a protective pose in front of Sam.
“Sammy,” I ask sweetly.  ”Wouldn’t you rather sleep in your bedroom with Will and Tom?”
Sam, peeping from behind Jack with big eyes, begins shaking his head before I even reach the question mark. “No want Will. No want Tom. Want Jack’s room.”
I put on my stern mommy voice. “Alright you guys, but no monkey business. I want you in bed asleep right now.” They bolt toward Jack’s room before I can change my mind.
I enter Will and Tom’s room and begin tucking them under the covers.
“Where Sammy?” Will asks.
“Sammy’s fine,” I say, not making eye contact with either of them.
“What doin’?” Will persists.
“Sammy’s/sleeping/in/Jack’s/room,” I fire in my lowest voice, praying that it won’t carry over to Tom’s bed. Will takes the news in stride, but Tommy…well, it hits him pretty hard.
“Want Jack’s room! Want Sammy! I get out bed, Mommy! I get out bed!!!” Tom shrieks, his voice ascending with each panicked exclamation.
“No, Tommy,” I coo as I physically force him back into his bed. “Sammy’s okay. Tommy and Will Will are sleeping right here.” I continue to coo and sooth until Tommy finally settles into pitiful sobs of, “Rockababy, Mommy. Rockababy!” This means he’s at just about the lowest point he can be.  I whisper/sing Rock-a-bye-baby until he is only snubbing every few seconds. “Want drink, Mommy,” he whimpers.
“Me, too!” pipes up Will, waving his cup at me, completely unconcerned with the drama unfolding in the bed next to his.
I take their cups and return with watered down juice, a rare night-time treat. “Here you go, Will-Will!” I grab one last kiss. “And here’s Tommy’s!” I say in a singsong voice as I lean in for his kiss.
“Sammy need drink, too, Mommy” he tells me mournfully.
I can’t help but give him one last snuggle — you’ve got to admire his unshakeable devotion. And isn’t it much too early to learn how it feels not to get picked for something really cool — especially when your own brother gets to be the “chosen one” instead? He’s not even three yet, for heaven’s sake! I vow then and there Tommy and I are going to have a Mommy/Tommy visit to the ice cream parlor next week.
And guess what, Tom? Jack and Sam can stay home and tell stories.

Communication 101

From July 2, 2009

Me: (actively PMSing) Sometimes I feel like you’re ignoring me.
Husband: (actively facebooking) I’m not ignoring you.*click, click* You just talk a lot and it’s hard to reply to everything.
Me: (willing myself not to laugh) You know you’re kind of an ass.
Husband: I like to think of myself as a “Relationship Guru.”

Paddling With No Creek in Sight

I am definitely not here to tell you how to raise your child. Goodness knows I’m flying by the seat of my pants most days; but how to keep order in a house full of children is a topic that comes up periodically around the drunch table. And it’s definitely one where I’ve gone both ways. Most of my girlfriends agree that if Junior seems to have a death wish (i.e. always making a bee-line for the deep end of the pool or  refusing to hold hands in the parking lot then running between parked cars), we feel compelled to ramp up the punishment accordingly. But I’ve been reminded lately that — at least for me — it needs to stay in my “Last Resort” folder. I stumbled across this article recently 10 Reasons to Not Spank Your Child – Dr. Michele Borba’s Parenting Solutions : Blogs at iVillage.com and decided to really make a point of providing guidelines for the kind of behavior I do want to see rather than simply focusing on all the things I do not want to see ever again.
It wasn’t long before I had my first chance. When one of his brothers got to “help” mom with a task that Jack wanted to do (I think it was shutting the dryer door — a mind-blowingly exciting task around here), Jack had a major come apart. Rather than sending him to time out and forgetting about him until he wandered back in (Oh…I’m sorry! Do you have triplet toddlers? No? Then put those stones back in your pocket.), I actually made a point to sit down with him and talk through two or three different ways he could have handled the situation — one of which was waiting for his brother to do the task, then asking to do it again himself. I don’t know about you, but I’ll happily let them open and shut the dryer door all day long if it staves off a crying jag. That’s just how I roll.
Well…later today we had an identical situation with one of his other brothers. Jack. started to squawk, then caught himself and calmly acted out what we’d talked about earlier. We were both elated and happily high-fived each other over his having remembered a good behavior. Not rocket science, I know, but when you have more than one child, it’s a tougher trick than it seems.


I’d love to hear your thoughts on what’s worked for you. Did you think I was kidding when I said I’m flying by the seat of my pants? Leave a comment and help a sister out!

Land of Confusion

From June 29, 2009

In order to make myself available for drunch whenever the opportunity might arise, certain other aspects of my life tend to get squeezed into whatever snippets of time I have left over. Laundry, housekeeping, grocery shopping -- mundane but necessary, I'll admit. So considering that I tend to shop at a dead run, raking familiar items into my cart like some sort of crazed game show contestant with only seconds left on the clock, why can't the makers of swim diapers make the packages look really, really different? Maybe they could add a few sequins or a little puff of maribou to the girls' packs. The boys packs could come covered in dirt and shaped like a monster truck -- a monster truck that transforms into a swim diaper!! Now we're rockin' and rollin'! Seriously, all I'm saying is this...if they're going to insist on being all gender specific at this tender age, then they need to go whole hog and not pussyfoot around it. As it is, the packages are virtually identical and the end result is what you see before you.
DSC_0019
"Why are they wearin' girl's pants?" Jack asked.
"Those aren't girl pants," I replied huffily, as I readied his three brothers for a romp in the kiddie pool.
"They're pink!" he insisted.
"That's not pink," I lied. "It's just a light shade of red."
"But there's a princess on 'em!" Jack fired back, unswayed.
"That's a mermaid. A mermaid is a fish just like Nemo." In the face of my brilliant logic, surely night was now day and the mermaid pants were, in fact, just like the Nemo pants, only different.
Jack decided to abandon the fight in favor of digging in the dirt, but headed out the door grumbling under his breath, "Still looks like girl pants to me."
The price for drunch is high.