Monday, May 25, 2009

Oh! Now I get it!


So there's a bit of an obsession with Batman in my house. Don't know if you can pick up on it from the picture above. However, it hadn't really spread to all aspects of our house until Tom (that's him on the far right) picked up a large, yellow, toy canoe in the bathtub and said, "Look, Mommy. Batman!"

When was Batman ever in a yellow canoe? I wondered to myself. "Really, Tommy? Batman?" I asked distractedly as I finished shampooing his hair and moved on to the next head in line.

"Batman!" He insisted, waving the canoe closer to my face. "Nana, Mommy!"

O.k. Batman in a yellow canoe with bananas. I couldn't let that one pass. I stopped shampooing his brother in order to focus all my attention on Tom. Otherwise, how would I get any sleep that night? "I don't get it, baby" I apologized, tapping the canoe. "What does this have to do with Batman?"

"Nana, Mommy," he said again.

"O.k. -- I think I get this part. The canoe looks a lot like a banana." He smiles and wiggles his eyebrows to let me know I'm on the right track. "Great. But what does that have to do with Batman, honey?" I plead.

Nodding to the beat, Tommy begins to sing a quite recognizable rendition of the theme song to that old sixties camp television show with Adam West as Batman. And since there were no lyrics, what do we all sing instead? Nana, nana, nana, nana. Nana, nana, nana, nana. Batman!

It seems so obvious now, doesn't it?

Will -- almost two years ago.



And Will today:



Why mess with a good thing?

Didn't See This One Coming

Last night we introduced a small bin of play food to the playroom in the vain hope of cutting down the number of fights taking place around the toy kitchen the boys got for Christmas. Everyone clusters around the colorful pile of plastic food and cardboard boxes of nothing, each boy staking claim to his personal favorites. Jack selects a pile of green peas.

Jack: Hey, dad. I'm gonna make pea soup.

Jason: Oh, yeah?

Jack: Yeah. Know why?

Jason (still unsuspecting): No. Why?

Jack: 'Cause anybody can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup!

Jack disintegrates into gales of laughter as Jason excitedly calls everyone he knows to share the comic genius of his oldest child. In the meantime, I begin a series of mental mathematics. If x is the number of years remaining until college multiplied by 365 days within those years, and y represents the total number of scatologic references one child is able to make per day, multiplied by 4 children. Then Z should be the total number of times I question whether it's possible for me to survive another second in this drowning pool of testosterone. I am officially abandoning all hope.

Happy Memorial Day, everybody!